What goes around, comes around…..

November 22, 2016

I had forgotten about this blog I started years ago.  Very early this morning, whilst I was awake and couldnt go back to sleep I got a whatsapp message from my sister who must have stumbled across this…..saying why havnt I posted anymore.

Think the answer lies in the fact that I had forgotten about it…so much has happened, I have got soooo much older.  My body does not fail to remind me on a daily basis of unknown aches and pains that never used to surface until recently lol.  I started noticing it about 2-3 yrs ago….during the summer months I still play league cricket, which I have always done and enjoy it thoroughly….but lately after a game of cricket wifey has ibuprofen on the ready for me soon as I walk back into the house.  Her normal greeting is …’And????’….the answer she is looking for is the possible details of injuries I have managed to inflict on myself.   The thing is…nowadays bowling 3-4 overs off of 12 pace run up is pretty much like running a 10k.  The knees and ankles start abusing me after a couple of overs and turn funny colours….its no fun.  The gutting thing is that I have always enjoyed bowling and now that I can hardly bowl without suffering, I am now starting take a liking to this batting lark.  Batsmen are just KNOBs, as far as I am concerned….just obstacles between me and my cherry and their furniture.  Having said that, this summer gone, during 1 of the games I played…I asked the Skip if I could bat a bit higher than the no 11 spot which I have had reserved for me all my playing life…and he obliged!

I went in at no 5….batted for 20 odd overs, stayed unbeaten on 42no….hit few boundaries and 3 x 6’s….how the feck did that happen?  Whilst batting my colleague who was umpiring at squareleg says to me…wtf are you playing at? whats going on? how come arnt back in the hut already? so when did you learn to use that piece of willow?…My response startled me, let alone Ray Cully….I heard myself reply ‘this is piece of piss, dont know what the fuss is all about really’.  So now I am thinking, come new year & new season, if I want to carry on playing #GodsOwnGame that is #Cricket , I will have to switch from bowling to batting…..and be a KNOB.

Most of club mates, who have known me for over 20yrs or so now, wouldnt be surprised at the last 3 words of my previous sentence.  A looong wait yet for next summer, before I have to walk out to the crease and be called a KNOB…lol.

What goes around, comes around…..



Bacon and brie sub…..

November 24, 2011

Precisely at 11am, at work, I hear the most inviting sound….its the sandwich van that turns up full of goodies.  Ok before you say ‘look at yourself in the mirror you fat knob’….let me assure you that I do worry about my looks.  I do worry about the fact that I am 2 stone overweight, I worry about not getting enough exercise, eating lot of junk food, drinking in cxcess, smoking (who mentioned smoking?….not this asthmatic)

For the last month or so, I have been very good….i mean really good.  I have ventured out in the cold with trainers on….jogging 5k at a time…..oh yes I have….Well by jogging what I really mean is a brisk walk ….4mph doesnt really count as jogging pace.  Little secret….when I update my training schedule on mapmyrun.com, I tend to add it as …R U N…..lol…purely because it makes me feel sooooo much better.

Anyways, back to the scottish chap with the sandwich van…all of last week, I stuck with a salad box every day ….trying different meats everyday with the salad.  I do like salad, I must say….honestly….as long as its got some kinda meat with it and lots of dressing on it.  But after a few days, when you’ve done the full circle of choice from chicken, tuna….various meats….and back to chicken, it gets a bit boring.  But fearnot….thats when in comes bacon and brie sub.

2 thick rashers of bacon, 2 thicks slabs of brie, slices of  juicy tomatoes ….all in a warm embrace of a footlong french sub which generously buttered.  You’d have to be a mental case to even think that you wouldnt like it.  And as I am not mental and as I am normal, I love itttttttt.  Its fairly priced at £3 and the best bit is that it stuffs you up properly for the rest of the day.  So I look at it this way….1 meal approx 11am (however unhealthy it might be) and dinner in the evening….perfect. 

Todays sub was so freakingbig that I couldnt get my mouth around it…. and I have a big mouth, believe me.  Its such a nightmare when you cant wait to devour what you are holding in your hands but cant actually proceed to do it!!!!  Who bothers with cutting the damn thing into smaller pieces….in fact who has the time for all that crap…so my way is simple….GO FOR IT…. no messing.  Bit embarrasing though when you realise that your work colleague who went out 1st to get his lunch is STILL eating his little pretty salad box and YOU have already devoured a scud missile for lunch in double quick time.  The awkward moment when he looks at you and says ‘wtf …how did you eat that thing so quick’….you simply shrug it off by saying…’have got loads to do so wanted to hurry up and get back to work’….and you know that he doesnt believe you 1 bit and is thinking ‘what a f#####g animal’

So today I ate a bacon and brie sub, I shocked my work colleague who thinks I am a f#####g animal and I feel really  good about it.  I’d like to meet the person who thought of the idea of putting hot bacon rashers with brie in a piece of bread…what a genius.  He deserves all the Michelin stars….

I want my scottish sandwich van man to have his own tv cookery show…..aye I do!!!

If Hogwarts was your school……

November 23, 2011

How many of us have wished that our school  from yesteryears had been like Hogwarts?  I know I have….just the whole  magic that surrounds the concept  is spellbinding….isn’t it….Anyways, today we went to Hogwarts….yes sirree we did.  Well, its called Munthum House School and its the closest we’ll ever get to being in Hogwarts.  Its a specialist school near Horsham in West Sussex which we are hoping that our son Connor can be lucky enough to attend in the near future.

This was in fact our 2nd visit to Hogwarts …err I mean Munthum, we had originally visited the school couple of years ago whilst we were debating on choosing the right school.  Anyways, this is a fresh start….he says as he touches head….this time around we are determined to find the best possible school for Con where he can have a decent 2 yrs or so, get a good education, make friends and hopefully make a good start to adulthood.

We arrived at the school to be met with Michelle Wright who showed us around….what a fab place it is.  Old building with a mahoosive snooker table in the main reception hall (if thats what you call it)….Con will go absolutely balistic if/when he sees it….(I know I shouldn’t be presuming things but just cant help it) and thats because Con loves playing pool/snooker.  This school has a fabulous ethos whereby boys and young men who are unable to get education in mainstream schools are made to feel welcome and they actually enjoy being there.  They have boarding facilities i.e. 24hrs curriculum….meaning children have regular classes all through the day and then take part in various after school activities which are vital in helping them build up their confidence and self esteem.  In Cons case it would means he would get dropped off at school on sunday eve’s and get picked up on friday afternoons after school and spend the weekend at home with us.

They also have what  they call the ‘Engage programme’ which is described  is a psychologically informed planned environment, delivered by a highly skilled team of professionals, where the social relationships and different activities together are all carefully designed to improve young peoples, well being.

Overall we were very impressed with what with saw around the school, it has everything that a child like Con needs…caring staff, small class sizes, after school activities to help build social skills, confidence and self esteem building activities….the list has almost everything you could want your child.  The last words from Michelle were to the effect that the education authority funds for all the children that go there so there  is absolutely no reason whatsoever that we could be told that Con cant be placed there due to financial reasons and that most children that go to Munthum House have similar issues to Con and so we should fight for his placement there too.

Its all good finding a good school and being pleased with what you see but at the end of the day it is all down to the funding.  I have spoken with various schools in the last few weeks and found that the cost of sending kids to some of these schools are just astronomical…to me anyways….I mean how would you react when told all about the school…all pleasant talk just like you would expect from any other school and then crunchtime….yearly fees….a mere £126k per academic year…WTF….needless to say that I have not even thought about it for more second.  And the horrifying fact is that the local education authority do pay these kinds of fees to schools….for some children.  I just cant justify that…I mean for that kinda money 5 needy children could get good schooling every year.

Anyways, I dont want to sound harsh about it all as I am in the queue waiting for a ‘handout’….so to speak.  Now its a case of writing to the Education Authority AGAIN with sufficient evidence that Munthum House is the best school for Con and how they can meet all his needs….if the letter is convincing enough then the authorities will reconvene and decide whether to go ahead with the funding for Con.

Waiting is what we do….we dont complain, never complain….we are not bitter, not the slightest….just want whats right for the little man…

Not too much to ask is it?….or is it

Psychotropic drugs anyone?

November 20, 2011

Watched a fascinating documentary on Current TV called ‘Kids on Pills’ about the myth that is Bi Polar and ADHD ….the modern child’s mental illness.  When I say mental illness…I hold strong reservations against it.  I say so because I have a child of my own who has been at the receiving end of the medications that go along with these so called conditions.  Medications such as Equisym, Concerta, Srattera etc…..these are all apparently medications that these ‘hyper active children’ cant do without……..

I am not a great fan of these meds purely because I have read enough about the effects of these drugs and am not so sure that I’d want to be addicted to anyone of these drugs myself.  It is well known that some of these drugs are known as party drugs etc often used by Uni students for either partying or staying up late whilst preparing for exams….this is because of the stimulant effect of these drugs.

Imagine young kids as young as 3 yrs of age (shown on Kids on Pills) being prescribed these drugs on a daily basis….all because the kids are too hyperactive.  I dont think so….But then I have had this been done to my own son for the last  almost 8yrs.  I cant help but feel sorry for him.  My son Connor has Attachement Difficulties (which is being treated by ADHD drugs!!!!!)  which has troubled him since he was about 5-6yrs of age…he is nearly 14 now.

Con has been prescribed all of these drugs I talked about earlier at some point in his life so far.  At the moment he is on Concerta….. a very high dosage which is meant to be for a slow release effect  i.e. works for approx 12yrs of the day.  So in effect he is psyched up for 12 hrs a day.  Imagine being on Speed for 12 hrs at 13yrs of age…..wtf.

My wife thinks that this med does help Con’s behaviour as in that he is able to control his actions and thought processess unlike when not on the drug…Con has always been very impulsive, nervous, anxious…..and I must admit, at times I tend to agree with her but most times I’m not so convinced about this.  The side effects of the meds are loss of appetite (temporary and you know what that means….when the med wears off in the evening, he eats like a horse), sleeplessness, thirst, higher heart rate etc…..remind you of something?…some folk might remember what they felt like when they were ‘PARTYING’….the chemicals….(ok, I wont mention it).

Having watched ‘Kids on Pills’ has made me realise how wrong it is to let children get addicted to these drugs….its soooo wrong.  Going back yrs now, I remember when we were going through the assessment for become ‘adoptive parents’, we had a support worker from the Social services dept. for nearly 2 yrs, Rose Chilano…she was a fabulous person who was more like friends with us rather than a support person…..she once said to us… ‘adopted children often have way too much energy compared their peers’  and said…’in a loving way you can compare them to a big huge dog that you might have as pet….they both need a REALLY good run around everyday’.

This is such an apt description, the term hyperactive is what?….too energetic, too active….so if your child is hyperactive, take them to the park or somewhere where they can literally run around till they drop.  Once they have used up the excess energy, the rest of the day should be much easier to manage.  Just think about yourselves after long hard day at work perhaps…..when you are tired, you are tired…..no more activity, let alone hyper.  So this should make perfect sense for kids with ADHD.  Why dont the doctors recommend intensive physical therapy for kids with ADHD rather than the ‘magic’ pill….why?  Especially because not 1 of these drugs have proven benefits….what I mean by that is….the doctore always says ‘IT IS BELIEVED TO HAVE THESE EFFECTS’ …..no guarantees….

I can try…. and live on the edge, gamble….about a lots of things in life but am not willing to take a chance with the effects of a drug that my son is having to take….and also it doesn’t quite sound too convincing when the warning words are coming from your childs ‘Consultant Psychologist’….

So according to ‘Kids on Pills’ …… here we are….me and my son, helping some mental health professional get rich along with the  pharmaceutical industry…..WhyTF should we …..and I have promised myself that I will do everything I can to help my kid get off the PILL…

And on that note…..wheres my Prozac…..happy days….

Here goes….

November 18, 2011
Here goes….



I’m new to this blogging lark but have decided that along with using twitter where I talk to myself even when alone!!! I might as well start writing down all my random thoughts like a diary…..

Thought about this for a few days now, but this evening whilst driving to work and listening to Simon Mayo on Radio 2 talking about the Children In Need fundraiser that is on tonight, I decided that I will do this ‘blogging’ thingy from now….

What do I want write about? Whats on my mind all the time? I’m not a funny person or anything like that….no humour at all in fact….people don’t call me grumpy for nothing…I just talk a lot of crap really….and thankfully for people around me I do most of the talking to myself….well… it saves annoying them and coz I am a caring person, spare them that boredom.

I am going write about about my son Connor who is our only child, nearly 14yrs of age and a handsome dude.  My wife and I adopted Connor when he was 2yrs of age, in fact a day after his 2nd birthday.  It seems like such a long time ago but in fact at times it seems like…where did the 12 yrs go…who, what, when…Anyways he was the cutest kid ever and we knew it then that he’s going to be a good looking dude when older and we were right….:-)

The early yrs with Con were like every parent would expect…full of fun and laughter.  We never had loads of cash to spend but always made sure that we had a good life.  We lived in Burgess Hill at the time and have countless videos of him doing all sorts…the best 1, my favourite is him standing on the sofa (abt 3yrs of age….) with the tv remote in hand, jumping up and down, watching and singing along to Gareth Gates song ‘TUPID Mistake’….lol.

Con did his playgroup yrs in Burgess Hill and halfway through his 1st yr at school we moved house to Haywards Heath and he he had to change schools to Northlands Wood primary.  Thats where it all started…when he was 5-6 yrs…(ashamed to say can’t remember now) everyone got concerned that Con was very loud and hyper and had trouble staying calm for too long.  Over the nest few yrs it was more and more apparent that Con did struggle to concentrate.  Anyways, the Drs suggested that he should take medication for ADHD like symptoms which in fact has been disgnosed as Post Adoption Attachment Disorder.  Yrs 5 and 6 at the primary school were good for Con coz he had terrific teachers who understood his needs and he loved going to school just to be with them.  However he struggled to make any friends….he was too hyper for his peer group, he never did make any friends.  I will never forget 1 of his birthdays when we organised a party at the local leisure centre with the laser gun/paintballing kinda stuff….Con wanted 8 of his friends to come to his party who were duely invited.  Food ordered for the party, we all turn up, all excited…..and not a single child turned up for the party.  Con could not understand why they never came….it was such a sad day for us as his parents to watch him not being able to work it out.  We knew that day that things were never going to be the same ever again.

We had numerous meetings with the school staff prior to his transition onto secondary school to make sure that would be able to settle in but ofcourse that never happened.  Con’s life was made hell by the other kids at the secondary school and within the 1st 3months of being there, being bullied, physically hurt, taunted etc….we and the school (who could have done a lot more to support him) decide that Con couldnt carry on there.

That when the nighmare really started for us.  Namely the fight with the Local Education Authority trying to get an assessment done on Con to be able to get a statement of special education needs so he could go to a specialist school.  That was almost 3 yrs ago. 

The last 2-3 yrs of our lives as a family…..its been hard.  It took the L.E Auth 6 months to get the document ready (honestly 6 freaking months….can you believe that)…and whilst this was happening Con had no school to go to.  We signed him up to go to ‘Kumon’ classes….japanese learning technique which only deals with eng and maths….basically helping a child to sharpen their learning ability.  We did this purely to keep Con involved in some kind of learning whilst the jokers in their various offices were doing various little tasks that they do….

When the statement was granted Con started life a fabulous boarding school…Slindon College…very Hogwarts like.  Con loved it there but unfortunately once again after having been there for 5 weeks the school withdrew his placement saying that they did not have enough staff to give Con the 1-2-1 that he so badly needed.  That was Dec 09….and since then my son has never been to a school or mixed with peer groups or done any such normal things that you would expect a 12/13yrs old boy to be doing.

Since then he has been home educated (online virtual classes) for the entire yr 8 and to his credit he managed the do his work well enough (just about) to be pushed up to yr 9 where he belongs now.  Its almost as if it was too good to be true, just this week the LEA have stopped his funding for the online education and instead want him to go to a kind of a correctional facility where they deal with young ofenders and generally kids with extreme behavioural issues.

Con’s doctor and our support worker from the adoption dept are all saying that Con does not need to go such an extreme place, he needs to be in a specialist school where he can be supported emotionally and taught social skills (which he has missed out over the yrs simply coz of lack of contact with peer group).  We are now living everyday waiting for tel calls and emails from the ‘high and mighty’ who will decide our son’s future….I cannot describe the feeling….

Con has turned aggoraphobic, is a complete recluse, locked up in his room for hrs on end…his only escape is gaming and loud music…his words are…’its helps me not to think about my horrible life’….

And nobody cares….at least nobody in the childcare profession…the Education dept/Social Services….

Hope Children In Need helps kids like Connor in the future

Enough of me for now….